I cannot believe its been over a year since I posted. I’m kind of in a rut. A life rut. I’m in a position where I have the option to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life (career wise), yet I can’t seem to find a road to take. I’ve always been blessed to have the opportunity to grow in my job, but I’ve come to a point where I don’t think I want to pursue any more growth. As a matter of fact, I KNOW I don’t want to pursue any more growth.
My husband has worked very hard to get us to a place where I dont HAVE to work in a field that is not fulfilling for me. Do I go back to school? Am I too old to pursue what I love? Which, those of you know know me know, is makeup. I know I’ve heard “Its never too late” but is it really never too late? I know the field I want to pursue is very competitive. And I also want to make sure I am contributing to our household. But do I have the drive to make it work? Will I invest so much in getting started, only to realize I don’t have what it takes? So many questions, so many insecurities. I think what I’m most afraid of is not contributing enough financially to our household. And I don’t mean that materialistically, I mean that in a way that won’t affect our future in the long run. Financially, staying where I am makes sense. Its safe. Maybe I just need to find joy in what I do. Change my attitude. Be grateful for the opportunities given to me.
I have so many people around me show so much faith in me. So many people who care. I’m one blessed gal. Maybe I just need to get out of my head and take a leap. A leap of faith. Its easier said than done.
I know this post is neither here nor there, and has nothing to do with what this blog is about, but I just needed a fresh start. I needed to express where this hiatus was coming from. I just need to Restart.